


of a name

by lavenderlotion



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)
Genre: Angst, Charles Xavier in a Wheelchair, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Erik Lehnsherr Being a Drama Queen, Established Relationship, M/M, Married Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-01-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:07:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22296817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavenderlotion/pseuds/lavenderlotion
Summary: “Oh, you silly man,” Charles breathed, reaching for Erik’s hand and thumbing over his wedding band, pressing it against his finger so he could not help but feel the weight of it.
Relationships: Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier
Comments: 25
Kudos: 152





	of a name

**Author's Note:**

> second time writing Erik's POV, so please be kind!

Erik was pacing along the length of Charles' office, his heart racing through his chest. His palms were sweating where he had his fingers curled into fists by his sides and the metal within the room was shaking. Erik was trying to breathe deeply, to remind himself that it was probably nothing, that it didn't mean anything but—

Charles had changed his signature. After years of them being together and longer still of them dancing around a frightening potential of something so much more than Erik knew he deserved, he was well versed in how Charles signed his name. He'd seen it countless times, sat in Charles' office as he signed paper after paper when he first opened the school, saw it again as Charles signed letters to various students who had moved on, saw it on letters to the president as he had been working towards a better future for them all.

Xavier was always written with a certain carefulness, a large, showy “x” followed by a smooth script and lastly a dot above the “i”. Erik had seen it done many times and this, the signature that Charles had signed several documents with, was not the signature he had been using for years.  _ What did it mean? _ Erik wondered silently to himself, moving back to Charles' desk so he could riffle through the papers once more.

Erik felt it the moment Charles left the class he was teaching, focused as he was on his metal sense. Charles' chair had such a definite shape to it, but more than that it had been crafted by Erik's power and for that reason alone he would always be able to sense it, as he had an awareness of it that was deeper than just his usual pull towards metal.

He tracked it through the house, breathing deeply as it entered the elevator and forcing himself to pull his power away from the elevator's tracks else he subconsciously slow its descent just to push off the inevitable. Erik was not a weak man, nor was he who one that often felt fear—but there was nothing that quite bothered him the way arguing with Charles did, and this was not a conversation that he wanted to have.

In truth, part of him had always expected this day to come. Seldom had Erik got to experience things that were good, and his relationship with Charles was the best thing to have ever happened to him. It was no surprise that it was over, as he knew that Charles could do better, would do better. Knew that their marriage wasn't even legally binding so why would Charles abide by the vows they had spoken to each other scarcely a year before?

Erik moved away from Charles’ desk the moment the man's wheelchair turned down the hallway of his office. He stood in the centre of the room, his arms crossed over his chest as he waited for Charles to arrive. Before the man could open the door himself, Erik was pulling the latch open and swinging the doors apart from where he stood, levelling Charles with the flattest look he could manage.

He did his best not to let his face crumble when he finally caught sight of his husband. Charles' face was drawn into a mask of concern and he was donning a sweater that once belonged to Erik. The sight made his heart feel incredibly soft, though he refused to let that show outwardly. Rather, he kept his features carefully schooled into something resembling anger.

“Love?” Charles asked him softly, wheeling forward. Erik stepped back, and Charles came to an immediate, forced stop. A frown twisted his feature down. “Erik, what's wrong?”

He considered playing around it for a moment, wondering if Charles would admit to what he had done on his own. He took a deep breath and felt nothing but his heart aching, and knew he had to get this over with. “Charles, what in the bloody hell is this?” he demanded angrily, pointing to Charles' desk were the papers were strewn about messily from where Erik had gone through them. Erik stalked over and picked one up at random, crumpling it in his fist and feeling a thread of joy at destroying a paper that had caused him so much grief over the past handful of minutes.

Charles wheeled over to the table with a perfectly calm look on his face, albeit a rather worried look. Erik felt the familiar brush of him against his mind, but erected steel beams around his thoughts to keep him out. Charles frowned, his forehead creasing as he looked over the papers carefully. “Well, they're the letters I'm sending to the children who graduated this past year.”

“That's not what I mean and you know it, Charles,” Erik snapped angrily, slamming his fist down onto the table. He felt guilty for the way Charles jerked away from him, and he purposely kept his eyes on the table and away from Charles' face. “This, Charles.” Erik pointed at the line where Charles had signed his signature. It hurt to look at, to know exactly what it meant—that Erik was finally losing the one thing he had always been so scared would slip through his fingers.

Charles was silent for a few moments, staring down at the paper with a look Erik couldn’t place but knew was unpleasant. As much as he wanted to move forward and comfort him, he held himself back and forced himself to remain still. Charles took a deep breath and then traced over his signature with an unsteady finger. 

“Did I...do something wrong? Erik, I know how much your mother meant to you. I never would have asked you to give up her last name and I,” Charles took a breath, and Erik watched as he tightly pinched the bridge of his nose, something Erik knew he did to stave off crying. “Xavier has only ever been a name of status. It hasn’t meant anything to me for many years.”

“What are you talking about?” Erik asked sharply, his brows drawing down into a heavy frown. 

“I hadn't thought you would be upset about me using your last name, but you're right, I should have spoken to you about it. I'm incredibly sorry that it bothers you. I haven't taken any legal action yet, so if...I can stop using it, if it's bothering you so much.”

Erik looked back to the paper he had been studiously avoiding since he first pointed it out to Charles. He didn’t understand what Charles was saying, why he wasn’t admitting that he had grown tired of being married to a broken man and had found himself someone better. It was cruel for Charles to string him along like this, to draw it out, to deny what he had done...

Only what if he  _ hadn’t  _ done what Erik had thought? That...well, it could be an “l”, if an incredibly loopy one. And Erik guessed the following letters  _ could _ be “ehnsherr” if he narrowed his eyes and tilted his head to the side.

“I—” Erik began, though the words died in his mouth when he realized just how utterly moronic he would sound if he said them aloud. To save himself at least a shred of dignity, he pressed the words into Charles’ mind instead.  _ I thought you had married someone else. _

“Erik, what are you—” Charles trailed off before reaching out with his mind. This time, Erik did not hesitate before letting him in, allowing Charles to shift through his memories and experience everything Erik had felt over the last short while. 

“Oh, you silly man,” Charles breathed, reaching for Erik’s hand and thumbing over his wedding band, pressing it against his finger so he could not help but feel the weight of it. “Erik Lehnsherr, I will never love someone the way I love you. As I said on the day we got married, you are my forever, and I count every blessing that I found you.”

“I’m—”  _ sorry, silly, a complete buffoon. _

“Are nothing of the sort,” Charles finished firmly, tugging on Erik’s hand until he had no choice but to climb atop his lap else he fall over, “you are my husband, and you are a wonderful man whom I  _ adore  _ with my entire heart.”

“Charles,” Erik began, but Charles stopped him with an incredibly soft kiss and said, “I love you, Erik. You are my husband, you will always be my husband, and I would be honoured to be a Lehnsherr.”

“Please,” Erik said softly, his heart racing for an entirely different reason than it had when he first saw Charles’ signature. He took a deep breath and forced his lungs to fill even though his chest already felt so full with love. “I would love for you to be Charles Lehnsherr,” he whispered, nearly tripping over the words as a tear fell from his eyes. Charles wiped it away and kissed him again, and Erik knew all was well. 

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi to me on [tumblr](https://lavender-lotion.tumblr.com/)!  
> comments and kudos are much appreciated!


End file.
